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Engaging with Our Local Candidates: A Voter’s Experience

Canada is facing a federal election to determine our country’s next Premier. Canadians take to the polls on April 28th, 2025.

On April 11 2025, I took the time to email all of the local candidates running in the upcoming election. I reached out to ask important questions about two issues that matter deeply to me—issues that will influence how I vote.

I sent emails and Facebook messages to the following candidates:

Kamloops-Thompson-Cariboo:
Frank Caputo (Conservative), Iain Currie (Liberal), Miguel Godoy (NDP), and Chris Enns (PPC)

North Okanagan–Shuswap:
Mel Arnold (Conservative), Ken Robertson (Liberal), Owen Madden (Green), Phaedra Idzan (NDP), and Michael Henry (PPC)


Here is the email I sent:

Subject: Election Inquiry from a Concerned Voter

To Whom It May Concern,

My name is Amanda Horner. I am a long-time resident and small business owner in Kamloops, BC.

With the upcoming election approaching, I’m reaching out directly to all candidates to seek clarity on two issues that are deeply important to me—and many others across Canada.

As a voter, I’m doing my due diligence to learn where each party truly stands. While I recognize that all parties bring both strengths and challenges, I also see a lot of conflicting information online—especially on social media—that makes it difficult to discern the facts. Rather than relying on secondhand sources, I believe in going directly to the source: you.

I appreciate your time in reading this message and, if possible, providing a response that outlines your position on the following two key issues:


1. Support for Canadians with Rare Diseases

I live with a rare genetic disorder called Phenylketonuria (PKU), diagnosed at birth through newborn screening. Without early diagnosis and lifelong treatment, individuals with PKU face severe cognitive and neurological damage.

Living with PKU means strictly managing a low-protein diet, supplemented by medical foods and a specialized amino acid formula—both costly and difficult to access. In recent years, supply chain issues and geopolitical factors have made access even more precarious.

New treatments—Kuvan and Palynziq—offer hope for improved quality of life. However, despite being approved by Health Canada, Palynziq and other treatments or medications remain unfunded, making them financially inaccessible for most Canadians without private insurance.

My questions:

  • What is your party’s plan to support Canadians living with rare diseases like PKU?
  • Will your candidate advocate for public funding of approved treatments like Palynziq?
  • How does your party propose to improve access to specialized care, therapies, and support for rare disease patients?
  • Will your party prioritize investment in rare disease research, drug coverage, and policy reform?

2. Women’s Rights and Reproductive Healthcare

As a mother to two daughters—and currently expecting a third child—I’m deeply engaged in issues surrounding women’s rights, reproductive health, and access to comprehensive care. I also operate a maternal care business, which gives me a unique perspective on these matters.

My questions:

  • What is your party’s stance on women’s reproductive rights, including access to abortion, fertility treatments, and investments in women’s health research?
  • Can your party commit to protecting and advancing these rights, ensuring no erosion of the gains women have fought so hard for?

Thank you for your time and attention. These are deeply personal and important matters to me, and your response will play a key role in informing how I vote on April 28.

Warm regards,
Amanda Horner
Kamloops, BC


The Responses

As of today, I have received four responses. I am publishing them here in full—not in support of any one party—but to encourage others to engage with their local candidates and to share this information with my PKU community, as it may help with voting decisions.

Knowledge is power. I believe in open discussion, informed debate, and shared knowledge. Our candidates work for the people—they should be accessible and accountable.

While I may not agree with all the answers I received—and found some to be overly political or off-topic—I deeply respect the candidates who took the time to reply. It’s disheartening, however, when questions are left unanswered or unacknowledged. Campaigning should include listening to voters and responding to their concerns. That willingness to engage weighs heavily in my voting decision.


Below are the responses, exactly as I received them:

Iain Currie LIB :

I will start by saying that I am not knowledgeable about PKU and will not be able to say anything specific about research into rare disorders. I can say that the Liberal party and I are strong supporters of public health and of public funding for initiatives to keep all Canadians healthy (as in the National Pharmacare and Dental Care plans). I can say unequivocally that I and the Liberal party support women’s reproductive rights including access to abortion, fertility treatment and other forms of reproductive health care. And yes, unequivocally my party and I can commit to protecting and advancing women’s rights, and ensuring no erosion of the gains women have fought so hard for. Thanks again for the questions. All the best, Iain

Ken Robertson Liberal :

Hello, I am a father of 4, which 2 are Autism spectrum disorder, and I would advocate to the governments pharmacare, which was introduced by the Liberal government. I am prochoice, as you may not know Liberal party also Legalized Same Sex marriage in this country. Thanks for the question.

Response from Chris Enns PPC :

Hi Amanda,

Thanks for reaching out and for posing some important questions. Some of which I am not a subject matter expert. However, I will answer them honestly and to the best of my ability.

What is your party’s plan to support Canadians living with rare diseases like PKU?

– PKU sounds like a terrible and debilitating condition, especially if treatment is unavailable. Tackling lesser-known, and less pervasive diseases requires more diverse investment. Our nationaly-funded, provincial healthcare systems were never designed for specialty treatment. The PPC want to make more healthcare options available by allowing private sector investment alongside a robust public system. This proposition is often decried by Canadians, as gov’t-only (also known as ‘single-payer’) healthcare has become a ‘sacred cow’ in Canada. I lived in Australia for nearly a decade, and my spouse had our two children there. We had access to far more healthcare screenings and services there than we would have had here, and low wait times. Further, the cost of the not-covered/for-profit services we occasionally used were less than they would be in Alberta where a similar system exists simply because the system is national and there is critical mass. Not all for-profit healthcare will end up like in the USA, a fair and balanced model exists. https://www.peoplespartyofcanada.ca/issues/health-care

Will your candidate advocate for public funding of approved treatments like Palynziq ?

– Yes. the government serves ALL Canadians, who shouldn’t all treatments be equally funded on a % basis? Ideally, all treatments at 100%. The PPC want to cut significant funding from unnecessary programs, but healthcare is not one of them.

How does your party propose to improve access to specialized care, therapies, and support for rare disease patients?

– I feel that I addressed this above, but if you’re not satisfied reply and I can reply directly to this question.

Will your party prioritize investment in rare disease research, drug coverage, and policy reform?

– Yes, in-line with my first answer above. Coverage of drugs and policy reform seem like easier things to take action on immediately. If elected, we believe that existing medical research budgets will stay as they are, maybe we can push some towards research. Universities should be funding a lot of this. Public-private partnerships are another way to tackle a funding shortfall. Once the budget is balanced, and the financial waste is accounted for, we can look at more concrete funding numbers. Our country really is in an economic predicament.

What is your party’s clear stance on women’s reproductive rights, including access to abortion, fertility treatments, reproductive healthcare, and investments in women’s health research?

– The People’s party of Canada’s principles are freedom, responsibility, fairness, and respect. We are for all people; that includes women, men, children(born or unborn), and people of all racial and cultural backgrounds. Our policies make an effort to not favour one group over another, and to therefore allow as much individual rights as possible without overriding another individual’s rights.

– The People’s Party like people, and we will support Canadians’ ability to have and support their families. We will not undermine hard-fought reproductive rights, fertility treatments, and investments into women’s health. Without women and fertility the human race ceases to exist, that’s a fact. Women’s health is unique, and funding for women’s health issues is paramount.

– The PPC believe in women’s rights. We also believe in children’s rights in and out of the womb. Obviously there is some overlap there. Canada has no existing abortion legislation. The Supreme court struck abortion from the criminal code in the 1988 case R. v. Morgentaler becasue they were unconstitutional. Since then we have learned a great deal more about when life begins, concretely at conception. As a person who scans babies in the womb I’m sure you have a more thorough knowledge than I, although I was present for every ultrasound that my spouse had while pregnant. The PPC want to balane the rights of women and the rights of the unborn. Unless a child only becomes a Canadian and gains the protection of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms after birth, we have a duty to protect their interest as well. There is the conundrum, whose rights prevail? The PPC are proposing abortion legislation, but not on the first trimester, with gradual restrictions thereafter. I have been attacked by people on both sides of the issue, some say any legislation is hainous, others say any abortion is murder. It’s a lose-lose, but I suppose that’s what I signed up for. I don’t believe that the issue will be ‘settled’ in my lifetime. https://www.peoplespartyofcanada.ca/issues/abortion

Can your party commit to protecting and advancing these rights, ensuring no erosion of the gains women have fought so hard for?

– We want to protect women’s spaces, women’s activities, and the title of ‘Woman’ from those biological men who would seek to claim it for their own reasons, that they attempt to justify using post-modern relativism. https://www.peoplespartyofcanada.ca/issues/gender-ideology

I hope that helps. If you’re in Kamloops, Maxime Bernier will be at the Riverside Park Bandshell tonight from 5pm. Feel free to attend. I will be there from 4pm

Enjoy your weekend.

Chris

Response from Phaedra Idzan- NDP Candidate

Good evening Amanda,

I want to thank you for your email. My apologies on the delay in a response to it. 

Conservative premiers are pushing for more for-profit health care, a move that has drawn praise from the Liberals as “innovation” and support from Pierre Poilievre, who has a history of advocating for American-style privatized health car. Meanwhile, Jagmeet Singh and the NDP are standing up for public health care that’s available when and where Canadians need it, regardless of their ability to pay.

Canadians take pride in our public health care system and believe in looking out for one another. But it’s become harder than ever to see a doctor. Emergency rooms are closing across the country, wait times are growing, and an estimated 6.5 million people don’t have a family doctor. Even those with a doctor are finding it more difficult to get appointments. By 2031, Canada is projected to be short nearly 20,000 doctors, in addition to the current shortage of about 43,000 nurses.

When Pierre Poilievre was in government, he voted to cut $43.5 billion from health care transfers and slashed funding for key Indigenous health programs. He also refused to enforce the Canada Health Act, allowing provinces to expand for-profit health care and opening the door for corporations to profit from Canadians’ health needs.

The Liberals claim to champion health care, but over the past decade, they’ve enabled Conservative premiers and CEOs to cut essential services. Their plans fail to address underpaid health care workers, enforce service standards, or resolve staffing shortages, and they allow for-profit companies to lure nurses away from the public system. For-profit health corporations like Canadian Surgery Solutions and Maple continue to offer pay-for-access care, undermining the public system.

Poilievre has promised to maintain Trudeau’s health care plan, which leaves public health care vulnerable to further privatization. Protecting public health means having the courage to defend it and implementing real solutions so care is provided based on your health card, not your credit card.

Thanks to New Democrats, Canadians now have access to dental care and improved coverage for birth control and diabetes medications. The NDP will keep fighting for you by:

  • Improving working conditions for health care professionals to boost patient care and reduce burnout.
  • Collaborating with provinces and territories to recruit, retrain, and retain more doctors and nurses across Canada.
  • Streamlining licensing for internationally trained health workers and creating a pan-Canadian license so professionals can work anywhere in the country.
  • Strengthening the Canada Health Act to stop the expansion of for-profit care and introduce strong accountability for improving health services.
  • Investing in better home care and long-term care so seniors aren’t stuck in hospital beds waiting for placement.
  • Implementing universal, free prescription medication so no one has to choose between their health and paying the rent.

The NDP is committed to defending and strengthening public health care, ensuring it’s there for everyone when and where they need it.

With regards to the reproductive rights of women, we need a Prime Minister who will deliver real action and funding—not just empty promises—when it comes to reproductive health care.

  • Abortion is health care. It’s unacceptable for governments to allow barriers that prevent women from accessing the care they need.
  • Universal public health care, including abortion, is a core Canadian value. Yet, access to publicly funded abortion services remains unequal across provinces and territories. Depending on where you live, you might have to pay hundreds of dollars out of pocket for abortion care.
    • Women and gender-diverse people in rural and remote areas face even greater challenges. Many are forced to travel hours to reach services. Only one in six hospitals in Canada provides abortions, and very few clinics exist outside major cities.

Meanwhile, the anti-choice movement is influencing the Conservative Party:

  • Pierre Poilievre’s MPs are pushing to restrict access to safe abortions, and he refuses to stop them.
  • Poilievre has voted five times for laws that would limit a woman’s right to choose.
  • He sometimes claims to be pro-choice, but his voting record tells a different story—and we have no idea who he’d appoint as health minister if given the chance.
  • The Conservatives also voted against free birth control for nine million Canadians, and Poilievre has promised to cut it.
  • The Liberals, too, have let women and gender-diverse people down:
  • They talked about supporting abortion care, but after years of letting clinics close in some communities, they slashed funding.
  • Organizations like Abortion Care Canada, which relied on the federal Sexual and Reproductive Health Fund, have seen their financial support denied or reduced—even as demand for their services increases.
  • The Liberals’ failure to provide stable, permanent funding for sexual and reproductive health organizations puts people at risk, especially those already facing barriers to abortion access.
  • Saying you support a woman’s right to choose means little if women can’t actually get the care they need.
  • The NDP is committed to enforcing the Canada Health Act to guarantee equal access to publicly funded abortion care across every province and territory. We will stand with women and gender-diverse people, fight back against Conservative attacks on reproductive rights, and ensure that abortion care is recognized and protected as essential health care.

I wish you all the very best on the upcoming birth of your child. Thank you for sending me these very important questions.

Warm regards,

Phaedra Idzan

NDP Candidate

Kamloops-Shuswap-Central Rockies


Through this process, I’ve learned how difficult it can be to contact political parties. Some candidates have disabled messaging on social media or listed no email addresses. In some cases, I could see that my messages were read but never answered. When trying to reach federal leaders, their websites often limit communication to character-restricted forms, making it impossible to share stories or ask meaningful questions.

How does this affect our voices? If politicians say they represent all Canadians, shouldn’t they make it easier for us to speak with them?

I encourage everyone to reach out, ask questions, send emails or messages, request meetings, and start tough conversations about the issues that matter most to you. This election may be one of the most significant in our lifetimes. Whether your concerns are about health care, housing, addiction, child care, or the workforce—parties must be held accountable.

They need to answer our questions.
They need to listen.
And we, as voters, deserve to be heard.

— Amanda Horner

Managing the diet, News, Social Media, That's my PKU life

Rare Disease Day / So what can you eat?

WOW! It has been 18 months and 1 week since my last blog post and life sure has changed. Inspiration to write does not strike to often these days. Living and coping through a pandemic while raising my babies keeps me on my toes.

However inspiration has finally found me. How fitting is it that today is also Rare Disease day 2021.

In Honor of Rare Disease day I watched the new documentary about PKU called ” So what can you eat?” available on Amazon prime in America and Viemo.

This film is created by Jack Everitt A PKU adult. His Friend Liberty and other PKU community members such as our friends Lillian Isabella , Mark Edwards, Bianca Albanese, Lynn and David Paolella , Patricia Guthrie and more!

My first initial thought was how neat it was to see the faces to go with names I so regularly see on my pku Facebook profile friends list and in our world wide pku fb group. TO hear their voices to! I recognized many of my connections that I have followed on Facebook or Instagram for years. However never actually heard their voices. Like our dear Lynn! To me she has a beautiful accent!

I was able to gain access here in canada to the film through a screening by Ajinomoto Cambrooke, Inc . However I was only able to watch the first 20 mins of the film yesterday and only able to stay for 15 mins of the Q and A hosted by Lynn , David and the rest of the film crew after the screening. I signed up online for the zoom premier and given a access code for Viemo. I was sent a snack pack from Cambrooke of the Sea Salt Tortilla Chips and sample of the shake and cheese wit a recipe for ” Shake N cheese Queso to eat during the preimer. With formula samples to come later.

In the first 20 mins I was already blown away. I had gone into the movie with mixed expectations as It had been generating buzz in my facebook group for a few weeks now. Mixed from ” One big cambrooke commercial” Poor me attitude” etc etc. So I was disappointed for the negative reviews for a film I had been anticipating and excited for. I knew right away I was reserving my judgment as I am one to form my own opinions . I am very glad I did.

In the first 2o mins I danced between relief, justification, acknowledgement, inspiration and YES !! Thats me.

It was so amazing to finally have something geared towards the adults of my generations. Those in-between you can go off diet at age 7 to diet for life to hey look how far we have come and what’s available now, This should make your life easier. These Adults where speaking my language. Everything they said was so relatable on such a different level and brought to your attention. Creating awarness. The things no-one wants to talk about on facebook groups because we get bashed for scaring new families. Sometimes as an adult with PKU we feel with out a voice , with out a support system and even jealous of kids today for having it so much easier. It always seems new advancements and support systems are geared towards youth today. Everyone wants to help kids. To improve their quality of life and give them better access. PKU marketing is geared towards families, to newly diagnosed, or to youth and teens. Or maternal PKU. Because when your pregnant with PKU you are special and paid attention to and supported during your pregnancy. But soon as baby is born the shift goes back and you aren’t seen for as often, in touch as much, and coping and learning to parent and often the diet is the easiest thing to slack on . Its also rather difficult to drop right back to your regular phe tolerance and restrictions after spending the last few months being able to eat almost anything!

So here finally, was my story being shown on the screen. Being made to given attention to. In Other peoples words, lives, stories and experiences that mirror my own. Relatable. and Inspirational.

As I watched these adults share their stories that resonated so personally to me It was like watching and listening to my friends. I was knodding and shaking my head yes yes yes!

Then Lillian came on and she said something that struck me hard.

“When someone without PKU looks at a menu, they’re trying to decide what they want. When someone with PKU looks at a menu, they’re trying to decide what they can have.”

and I wanted to cry. I never even thought it about it that way or put it into words but this was exactly accurate. This is what I do too.

I knew I wanted to keep watching. I had to pause the film and come back to it today and I am so glad it was still available to me today for a few more hours.

I actually began to take notes as I watched because I knew I was going to need to reflect.

So many things that jack, mark, and Lillian said I agreed with. Jack mentions that he just gave up. He wouldn’t eat. He had to disassociate food with events and celebrations. It was just easier sometimes to just not eat. And I found myself thinking to my highschool years and that is exactly what I was doing to. I would not even eat food with my family. I often hid in my room with my food. or i JUST didn’t eat. I didn’t take school lunches anymore. IT wasn’t worth the questions and the comments. People use to make fun of the way my formula looked or smelt so I wouldn’t drink it. I was separated from my peers, my family and social gathers. Parents of my friends didn’t want to deal with having to have something extra for me. In elementary school I had to go to the nurses room or the teachers staff room so they could give me my formula from their fridge and they had to watch me drink it. In highschool they didn’t do that for me anymore so I didn’t take it. Not realizing to years later that not spreading out my formula through out the day equally was causing me damage. Jack also spoke of this.

Jack , Lillian and mark and other adults mentions not knowing the difference in yourself when you are off diet or on diet until you have been back on it for a while. Then you look back and your like oh. Not remembering the birth of your siblings, or something that happened. a milestone or a memory. Its like its blacked out. I often see photos from my childhood and dont remember it happening.

Lillian spoke of throwing her formula down the drain. I have done that soooo much as a youth. For years. That was my normal. Now as an adult I know how good drinking my formula makes me feel. If i miss it or an off even by a couple hours I feel sick. I never skip a formula now.

Managing PKU is a full time job. It requires so much “extra” so much thinking and planning. you just cant go out and do something or eat something or go somewhere. your always thinking what can i take with me that doesn’t need to be cooked or heated. What transports easy, where can i eat? how can i mix my formula? Sometimes you need to pack an extra bag if your going to be away from home longer then expected. I carry a case of formula in my car for those moments.

Meal planning and cooking is time consuming. It can take 45 mins to cook an PKU meal between calculating, prepping ingredients, cooking, plating , serving etc. Sometimes I just dont have the time. specially when I have a family to cook for. A daycare to run, babies needing attention or to be fed. I end up having to cook multiple meals, or feed my family first and eat later . If I dont have something low protein ready to grab or if i get to hungry Its the easiest thing to just not to do it and make a poor choice and grab something high cause its quick and convenient. knowing full well i will pay for it later. Sometimes I just dont have the patience to deal with all the extra. I want something Quick and filling and dont want to be hungry 30 mins later all over again.

I love that the crew touched on the realness and the rawness of the diet. That everyone mentioned is it healthy? Jack talks about always being in a calorie surplus because of the carbs and how hard it is to managing micronutrients on this diet. Having to watch what we eat but not having control or choosing what our numbers are, That we have a set stagnic tolerance we have to work with in. We cant change it. This spoke to me cause I am currently struggling to get active and healthy and loose weight. Liberty speaks about ” is this healthy for my body” She can think about the whole foods, the proteins, the raw materials, and if something is nutritional. Her over all health, Not just PKU. Something that is healthy for PKU is not necessarily healthy for someone with out pku. Our food is full of sugar. I love that they mentioned this.

Jack talks about how most people are healthy later in life then not so healthy as they age but wanting to go in reverse. I felt like he was talking to me. I cheated. I lied. I didn’t follow my diet, I ate things I should not have. I had really high levels. Now that I am a mom and older and wiser I want to do better, be better and be healthier now. I want to learn to be active and healthy and be a role model for my children. I have a more active role in my health now and my activity. I have a better understanding and I want to get into shape .

Liberty’s struggles with being hungry, noticing her mood fluctuations, dropping a few F bombs, shaking her head and grimacing her face while drinking formulas was real and true. She is able to recognize her emotional relationship with food. That she enjoys food and looks forward to it and to her its enjoyable and an experiance. With PKU you are eating cause you have to. Its edible. Its healthy for us. we have to eat. Not because we enjoy it.

I really apricate Liberty’s frustrations with doing all this prep work and cooking and the time it takes and how things like pancakes dont always turn out. Or after all is said and done and it just not as enjoyable as you hoped. Leading to disappointment in foods and meals. I have cried many tears over wasted time over dishes that havent turned out and I’m just so hungry. I throw it all away and grab a box of real rice.

I have banged cupboards, slammed doors, thrown pots, broken bowls in frustration. Dropped my fair share of swear words. But that is life. That’s real.

When Liberty talks about how the go to is pasta I laughed. I alternate between pasta and potatoes every night. 4 days a week is pasta. There is only so many ways to dress up pasta! There is only so many sauces we can have, or things we can add to make it filling. I do have to say though Pasta is my favorite low protein food. it is my go to and the most filling. I eat a lot of pasta and my waist hates me for it.

I loved that the adults where real , raw open and honest about their struggled with mental health, anxiety, fatigue, and how bad or high foods make you feel intoxicated.

The point of view from the food developers about the difficulties of providing low protein food and producing quality foods with healthy raw materials vs productablity was an interesting perspective that I hadn’t realized before. I liked hearing from them and their stories just as much as I did the PKU adults.

I am glad the film included families, parents , advocates, and normal people. It was diverse and all connected. Every perspective was important to share.

I am so glad to have seen this film. That is exists. I hope those watching it come away with a new appreciation, a new understanding and I hope the film reaches those not familiar with our way of life and teachers them something new.

I too hope that one day , I wont need to give my “PKU monologue ” and when I say I have PKU , they will get it. That it will be come as normal as saying I have diabetes and having an “oh,ok!” reaction. That they just get it.

I would love it if my non pku family and friends would watch this film for me. It is able to say all that I cant . It has give adults like me a voice. Inside and outside the community.

I hope that jack and his team go on to make it a series and feature different types of PKU like Maternal PKU. OR feature patients on different treatments and their experience’s. Giving us all a voice . Seeing it on the screen is so different then reading it and easier to make it more relatable and real. Real people real life. I hope that by bringing our stories to the media and to film connects it with every day people and spreads awarness that creates change.

For everyone who watches it, is another person who gets it and makes it a little less rare.

To Jack and his team.

From one PKU adult to many others, Thank you , Thank you so much.

Baby Number 2 / Maternal PKU journey 2

Amelia Rose

 

  • Warning – intense and somewhat graphic content may follow. I have tried to be as sensitive as I can but wanted to be honest and to share our truth, our birth story. Read at will.

 

Thursday August 15th started off just as any other day.

Braxton hicks had been happening on and off for weeks. My back pain , hip pain and sacrum pain was still getting to me. Every day I was just waiting for the contractions to either get stronger or progress. Every day I woke up waiting for my water to break but live my life. I had appointments all week accept Thursday. Thursday was my relax day.

So we had some friends over to play outside in our back yard. Our to do list was practically done and the house was all clean and organized.  We had planned to just relax and enjoy the sunshine, Our friends came and stayed a good few hours. We filled up the plastic kids pool and we all sat outside while the kids played. I soaked my feet. Us mommies visited , had a long chat and caught up. We even ate lunch together outside.

Cole got off work early and home was home by  lunch. After lunch and when our friends left I bathed Madelyn and we all had a nap.  I think I finally laid down around 230pm.

I had noticed some cramping start around 2 pm. Though it was alot sharper then my regular cramps had been I though nothing of it and went and laid down figuring they would ease off again till morning. then repeat like they have been doing for weeks. Usually waking me up at 2 am and lasting till 4 or 5 am thus leaving me tired and sore all day.

I woke around 4pm to more very sharp cramps. They started coming on every 10 mins and we started timing them at 430pm. By bedtime they where increasing in pain and frequency. Down to 8 mins apart, then 6 mins apart. But 11 pm they where 4 mins apart and strong.

All through my back and hips. My belly was getting hard and they where sharp. I was having trouble breathing, moving, staying in one position. I was mostly lying over the ball on all 4s or on the couch. I wanted the pressure of a hard surface aganist my hips and back. I could barely breathe or talk. It was time to call the midwife.

My midwife was still on holidays and so it was her fill in whom I had met earlier in the week just in case. I had met Lee on Monday, and she had done another stretch and sweep.

Lee came out just a little after 11 pm an to my dismay I was still only 1 cm dilated and slightly more effaced then when she had checked me on monday. No progress. I was really struggling through the pain at this point but didn’t want to go into the hospital for morphine as we would have had to wake Madelyn and take her with us.

Lee gave me some gravol as I was very nauseated.   I took some extra strength Tylenol. We figured it was prodomal labor again and it would either ease off or progress into the real thing. I could not imagine it not progressing or not being true labour.

Cole went to bed and I went for a bath.  I had some bloody show but not what I had expected from people who had told me about it before. I hadn’t had any with Madelyn. My water still had not broken. With madelyn my water broke when the contractions started so this time i was waiting for my water to break before calling but the contractions where to intense and to close together to wait . I thought if my water broke then I would know its really real.

I stayed in the bath tub till 6 am ( Friday Aug/16/19)  when Cole got up. The pain was over whelming. It was draining me. I was not coping. I stayed in the tub all night long with wicked horrible painful contractions very regularly every 10 mins. I had no rest. No break. The pain was consuming me. It was through my back and hips. I could not move.  I had a sopping wet towel against the tub for me to lie my head on, or scream into so I would not wake Cole and Madelyn.

I was struggling so much. I could not imagine going much longer at this level of intensity. The pain was to much. I could barely see straight. It did not feel right. It was not like this with Madelyn. I could not contain myself and I could not help but scream with each one or bite the wet towel.

By the time Cole woke up I needed help to move and to get out of the tub. I wanted to be in my bed. My hips and back where burning. I could get no relief no matter how I  moved. I was in tears. I called the midwife again and by the time she arrived i felt a shift.

I dont know how it was possible but it was like the intensity was turned up even higher.

I was weakening though. Cracking under the pressure and the lack of sleep. Id now been up 24 hours straight with no rest or break. I was starting to panic because the contractions where growing faster and faster and I was worried Lee was not going to make it.

When she finally did make it i was 8 cm and things where happening quickly. She called for her 2nd – A midwife named Ace who had delivered my best friend chantals youngest daughter.  Lee started setting things up but i couldn’t let her leave me.

I needed her to be with me and apply pressure to my back and hips so she was having trouble getting her stuff set up. Every time she tired to leave me i cried. I needed antibiotics because I had come back GBS positive but she couldn’t get the IV in me and I was struggling with the pain to much.  I remember yelling at her and her 2nd Ace alot. Either to not touch me, or to apply pressure, or not to leave me cause ” I really cant do this” When Ace got to our house she climbed into the bed with me and held my hips and squeezed my back while Lee tried to get set up.  I think I yelled at them alot and ordered them around or asked them to do this and this. I was very vocal. I was loosing all faith in myself and kept crying I cant do this. Ace pep talked me the whole time . She rubbed my face and my back and my temples and talked me through breathing and my fears.

Madelyn was awake now and she came into my room to say ” mama remember to breathe ” If only I could have laughed. In that moment I was so proud of her. She left my bed and ran out to Cole and I hear her say from the hall ” Daddy my baby is coming now ” you could hear her excitement.  she asked daddy if she could go to Aunty chantals until the baby came so Cole got her ready and packed her up and chantal came to get here.

All the while I cannot get off the bed. I wanted to be in the water , I wanted my pool but  I could not make myself move. I could not engage my muscles to lift myself off. I wanted the pressure of the bed against my back and hips . I needed to lie on my side.   I had not planned on being in our bed or not being able to move freely. With Madelyn I was up and walking and in the shower and pacing. This time I could not.  The midwifes worked together to get sheets and drop clothes under me in the bed with out me having to get up.

Cole started to pump up the birth pool by hand. He new i wanted it even though everyone thought I was running out of time and wasn’t going to make it.  He eventually got it filled and the midwifes got me up and got me to the pool. I barely remember how I walked there. I got in the pool and leaned over the side with my head in either Coles lap or with Ace. Cole fed me drinks and Gatorade, Lee gave me honey on a spoon.  Cole or Ace took turns holding my hands and letting me squeeze them and talking to me. Trying to help me breathe but the unbearable unimaginable pain was ripping through my back and I felt like my hips where going to separate and split my back in two. I literately felt like my back was going to rip open from the pressure. I dont know how else to describe it. My poor midwifes, I remember screaming If i have to push i cant do it,. i have nothing left i have no strength to bare down or engage my muscles. I cannot do. The tried everything to help me at home.

At one point i had  tends machine on my back and hips. This was entirely different then the first time, completely different experience then with Madelyn and not like any of the home birth videos I seen. I began to doubt myself. Regret this decision. Felt stupid for ever trying. By now i think its 9 am.  They decide to check me again. My water is still not broken the baby is in a bad position, shes twisted and coming down wrong. They break my waters hoping that will help her come down. There is meconium. We need to transfer to the hospital.  The fear takes over. I cannot imagine getting dressed, getting in the car, driving that far ( its less then 10 mins) I cant picture getting in the car or my seat belt. Im crying and upset. Why did I not go sooner? why was I not already there? is the baby ok? Is she stressed?  if we are going to go , we need to go now before the next contraction. I cant bear to go through this in the car.

The pain is impacting my ability to stay calm, to focus, to make decisions. If we go we need to go now. Cole and the midwifes make a dash for it. Grab our go bags and help me to the car. I cant sit,. they turn me on all 4s and i lean over the back of the passenger seat. Its taking to long they are standing outside the car talking trying to plan a route around the construction. I dont even care anymore lets just go! Please hurry! and get me a god damn epidural.

We get to the emergency parking lot , the ride is a blur. There is no parking. Cole stops in the middle and puts the hazard lights on. I scream for someone to help us. im panicked and in pain. A paramedic brings over a wheel chair and Cole gets me up to the 3rd floor im yelling faster. i can feel her moving again. shes going low.  We get to our room and im yelling for an epidural. The nurse says I cant have one yet. They set me up get my IV antibiotics going, give me some gas ( after fumbling with the tanks) It feels like a whirlwind going on around me) , Cole is gone he has to move the car.

Everything seems so fast and intense. The intensity level has been so high for so long I dont how it can go on this heightened much longer. At this point i had labored at home for 18 hours. We had arrived at the hospital somewhere between 1030 and 1045 am  but im not sure.  The midwife says something about babies position being not good. The anesthesiologist arrives to do the epidural but my body is starting to push on its own with out me.

There is no time. Im feeling everything. The pressure is high. I want to squirm around.  I dont want to push . I dont want to accept the contractions it hurts to much. So much for all my visualization of beaches and caves and calm and relaxation techniques. My body is fighting. Im screaming to much my throat is raw. They tell me to go deep with the contractions and go low and bare down and push. Babies shoulders are stuck. Im loosing power with my screams. Take it in go quiet and push down. Dont let my power out. I ask for the push bar  and rope. It helps alot. But she is twisted and stuck and her shoulders are applying so much pressure. They loose her heart rate. Im panicking that shes not ok. they insert a “poky”thing on her head to get her heart rate again.  She is stressed. The midwife tells me to get up and to  squat at the bar and push. i cant get up on my own . I think cole and the nurses help me. I push and I feel her crown. They tell me later she was coming down and out like a little soldier at attention with her head and back and shoulders rigid and straight. I know now that she was stuck to much for me to progress at home. I felt her change and break free when we got to the hospital things changed fast. Once she got past that she was coming fast.

I want to keep pushing. They tell me to stop to go slow , little pushes but I want her out I feel her there. I feel the pressure I feel my body wanting to push her out hard and fast but there telling to go slow  i need to stretch more or ill tear. I dont even care anymore i need her out.   But i do what they say. I try to stop my body to fight its urge to push i try to breathe and go slow. Then its ready again . I feel it build up. I try to look around, there seems to be 30 people in the room. There are crash carts, doctors, nurses,  a respiratory tech. ( hes is a guy) i ask loudly why is there a male in here . I am not happy about it.  But with the next push I forget all about him and shes out. I feel her I feel everything. I felt the moment she broke free. I felt the “gush” I felt her leave me.

at 1258 pm August 16th 2019 Friday , she is born earth side.

In the time that I started pushing and the time she was born was very fast. There was not alot of time for to be squeezed. she had broken blood vessels all over her body and her eyes and busing. We both are bruised. I even have bruises on my arms and legs. Huge bruises. She had mucus in her lungs to but was still great at latching and trying to eat. The girl has an appetite!

I see her, shes so grey and sticky. They lift her onto me and she starts crying. Everyone is happy and they all leave out the door no longer needed. I still feel things are moving fast.  Im still reeling. Im still spinning. The placenta wasn’t coming out right away.

We are able to do a delay cord clamp until it stopped pulsating. I think a whole 8 mins.  Shes finally mine. i can touch her and look at her. I feel things start to slow. somehow i have not torn to bad. just slightly. Only one stitch if I choose to, they recommend it for healing . So I say yes.

Cole has been by my side the whole time cheering me on, telling me I can do it. I could hear him the whole time but i feel like im finally seeing him . Unlike last time im sure he got the full show and seen everything and I dont even care anymore.

Last time I cared so much about if I was to loud. if I was rude or yelly, or what people thought of me. I tried harder to maintain some modesty. It felt slower with Madelyn, more quiet, less intense. I am sad. Everything felt like it happens to fast when i reality it was 21 hours from when we first started timing. I feel physically beaten. I am sore, Im cramping. The after pains and contractions for the placenta are almost just as bad . With Madelyn i had more time to think, to absorb, to take it in, to make decisions. This time I didn’t.  There are still more people in the room then with Madelyn. I deliver the placenta and im still bleeding to much. Im not hemorrhaging but the cant find my fundus or its not doing what its suppose to . They give me a shot and they hand Oxycontin in my IV. I go through 2 bags of it.

Lee asks me if i want to see the placenta. I did not with Madelyn as i thought it was gorey and gross. 3 days after she was born I regretted it and cried in the shower. How could I not even look at the organ my body grew  and held her and housed her before I could? So this time I took the chance. It was much smaller then I thought it would be as id seen lots of photos online. Lee say is on the small size. Im surprised to find it amazing. she gives me a tour of it, explaining all about it and showing me how it worked and what each thing is. Its really remarkable and I can totally see the image of the ” tree of life” with in it. I see why people call it that.

People keep coming in and out to check the bleeding to check me. They give us 2 hours of skin to skin with baby an to breastfeed. At 2 hours they take her to measure her and do their checks. I had said the whole time I thought she was going to be 8 lbs but after holding her she looks and feels smaller.  I guess 7 13 . She is 8 lbs 5 oz and 51 cm long. I cant believe it.

All she wants to do is eat!    We start to talk about names.  cole says Olivia – For the second letter of his name is O and like my name Amanda – M is my second initial for Madelyn. I didn’t catch it at first but Olivia does not feel right to me anymore. Even though it was my 3rd choice. I had been stuck on Clara for months but she no longer felt like a Clara. I say Abigail , Cole dosent like it. He says Amelia ( 7th on my list and hadn’t been on my radar in months) I look at her and think, I say it over and over again for about an hour. I keep looking at her. it feels right. it suits her.  We have a name! We start to call our families and a few close friends.

After my shower I get up and move around and feed her some more. Cole goes to get Madelyn to bring her to see us . while he is gone im moved to post partum. The nurses are all so great.  I need to be kept for observation for 24 to 48 hours depending how it goes. We only got one dose of the antibiotics in before she was born and they normally want more or to closely monitor baby . temperature and vitals every 4 hours.

Madelyn arrives and the nurse who happens to be a family friend films Madelyn come in and meet her sister. Madelyn looks at me and says good job mama. Im crying. My first baby is meeting my second baby. Madelyn looks at her and says ” i am so glad the baby is out of your belly now mom” she is cuing at her and calling her little cutie and talking to her.  My heart swells. We have it all on camera.  I tell Madelyn we have a name of her. Madelyn says she wants to name her Mia. We say its not Mia, Madelyn says she wants to name her Abigail Rose” We say its not Abigail. We tell her its Amelia and Madelyn says ” Oh Amelia , I like that its nice , Hi Amelia im your big sister” and like that our world is complete. Our family is complete. Madelyn stays and visits with us until bedtime. daddy takes her home to bed bathes her and spends hours cleaning up from our attempted home birth. Getting everything ready to bring baby home.

I am feeling bruised and batters. I feel so much pain still and slightly traumatized.  i ache all over. They bring me ice packs and heating pads and Tylenol and ibuprofen and gravol all night. Amelia cluster feeds from midnight to 7 am.   When she feeds there is intense cramps and after pains. They tell me they get worse with every baby.

The nurses are short staffed so they set me up as best as they can so I can be independent through the night. Since this is not my first rodeo after all.  they place the bassinet in my bed with all our supplies and the call bell. The gravol kicks in and we fall alseep around 9 and wake up just before midnight. We cluster feed all night long till 7 am, Hour after hour on each breast back and forth.  Daddy and Madelyn finally arrive around 10 am. Amelia has been sleeping since 8 am and sleeps till almost 11. Still being checked and vitals and temperature readings. Staying on top of the pain meds is critical for me. They do blood work on both of us. My hemoglobin and her PKU newborn screening test before we go home. they do a heart check on her, and a few other things.  Lee comes back and does her 24 hours checks and its decided we can go home.  We left the hospital around 230. Got home at 3 pm. I shower and then our photographer arrives by 330 to do our ” fresh 48 newborn lifestyle photo shoot”

By 430 we are done and its dinner and early to bed. Amelia cluster feeds from 11 pm to 6 or 7 am the next few nights. Im struggling to produce again.  By day 3 Our midwife Joanna is back and baby girl has lost 13 % of her weight and we need to start supplementing.  I refused to do the S and S system again so we start at the breast for 10 mins each side then we de latch and give formula. im still not producing but i have milk. Just not the volume Amelia needs.  shes sleeping better since the formula.  We feed every 3 hours , and change and cuddle and repeat. Cole has taken the week off and we are resting and sleeping when we can. It dosent feel as crazy as Madelyn first week. Madelyn has been amazing to. Such a big helper girl. she loves her sister.

I feel like im still whirling from our birth experience. I feel traumatized from the levels of pain. From the constant high of intensity. Form all the differences from what i experienced with Madelyn.  I know all births are different but wow! I feel some regret and emotions. I feel like I shouldn’t feel bad or complain or feel traumatized because it could have been worse and for others it is. I feel like for those of you reading it , it does not sound like a big deal. In the moment thought it really was. i know you cant plan for birth, that plans change, intentions change, but its so not what i visualized or dreampt about. I was always scared for it but was prepared for it. I figured id cope better, id manage better, id endure better. I was prepared to feel pain.I had no idea. This pain was to much. I feel bad I could not handle it. I have seen women do it, ive heard of them doing it. I hoped I could to. I had hoped I would cope and get through it. I wanted to.  I dont no how any one does that with out drugs. I have seen some pretty calm and beautiful births and I wonder what the hell happens and why couldn’t I ? Madelyn was long yes and painful but less intense. i got rest. I got an epidural. I was able to gather my strength. I was able to think and process . I was able to absorb the process and ride it out.

I had wanted to try not to have drugs this time but omg i needed them and wanted them and still couldn’t have them. I am lucky I went to chrio and massage every week in my pregnancy or maybe it would have been alot worse. I wish I could have gone for the morphine. I should have had a break or rest. Going that hard that long that fast really took a toll.  I feel steam rolled by a freight train. That just kept coming and no end. I feel like ive been hit by a bus. I keep telling myself it could have been worse. Im lucky. I didn’t really tear, my recovery wont be as hard, i didn’t have  a c section. I have no physical trauma or side effects , im healing well and barely bleeding now at all.  For the first few days i felt soft and squishy and jiggly all over. weak and soft. Im starting to feel my body wake up. My muscles are reminding me they still exist. Im feeling more tension. I have lost 20 lbs and barely recognize myself.  My body will need time and so do it . At the end of it all, she is here she is perfect. Shes beautiful and healthy and blonde! So blonde. I realized that right away. Blonde eye lashes and eye brows and curly hair like me.  I really am so happy. I m happy shes hear and cant believe its been a week already tomorrow.  I am so in love!

Here are a few photos form our photo shoot for you to enjoy!

 

We are so delighted to welcome our 2nd beautiful baby girl into the world. We are so please she is here and ready to start our lives together. Watching madelyn with her has been so amazing. shes a wonderful big sister already.  I look at my girls and im still in total disbelif. This is my family. We did this. We made them. They are my heart and soul. I am so blessed and thankful .  I cant help but just sit and stare and be in utter awe. Its so amazing how life changes and what we do and who become when we are parents.  I cant ask for a better life. God has blessed me so many time. i will forever be so thankful for the love and support through out this journey. To my team, my family, my friends, and everyone else. Thank you. thank you so much.

 

 

Baby Number 2 / Maternal PKU journey 2

39 weeks pregnant

Well here we are. Was hoping I wouldn’t see week 39 with all the braxton hicks I have been having the past couple weeks. Also because tonight at midnight my midwife goes off call and wont be back till 2 days after my due date. I have spent the majority of my pregnancy terrified to go through a lengthy painful labour again as well as giving birth but now im more anxious and scared at the idea of potentially doing it with out my amazing midwife by my side. As much as i cannot even begin to picture going over due again like with Madelyn , id rather go over due and wait for my midwife. I was really hoping baby girl would decide to join us by tonight though. I have had cramps off and on for weeks that each day seem to get stronger. Last night they where super strong but then after hours of discomfort they yet again stopped. Its becoming quit frustrating.  I am at the point where if its gonna happen lets just do this and get it over with!

I had a stretch and sweep done on Wednesday and was 1 cm dilated and 50 % effaced.  I have walked alot the past few days and trying to keep busy but also rest as much as possible. I want to make sure i’m rested in case i go into labour through the night and then be awake all day with both a brand new newborn and Madelyn. So been taking advantage of napping and long baths when able to.

Our to do before baby list is nearly complete. Only a few small things remain that are not to important to actually get done. We got new couches finally, Madelyn got a new big sister bed and we dont need to lie on her floor anymore till she falls asleep. My house cleaner came on Thursday and did a 6 hours deep clean so my house is all lovely and shiny and now to try to keep it that way  lol

my phe levels are steady at 2.5 mg /dl and my tolerance is sitting at 2150 mg phe still ( 43 grams protein)  I have enjoyed a variety of foods and feel like i havent missed any opportunities.

On Thursday after my chiro appt i took madelyn to the beach and we walked along the river. it was 38 degrees Celsius ( very hot) on Thursday so we played in the water and walked between the beaches and parks. Then later that evening we went for a relaxing tub ride down the river and a swim. The river was so nice and cold and felt amazing on my puffy feet.  On the walk home i started to get strong contractions again but they stopped as per usual.

yesterday we had a surprised visit from one of my best friends from back home and we all went out for dinner we had a big sushi meal and it was great!

So i feel ready. I feel all done . Now its just count down and a waiting game!

Here is what babyceneter.ca has to say about week 39

#39weeks

The average baby is about 20.5 inches / 51 centimetres long from head to toe and weighs approximately 7.5 pounds / 3.4 kilograms at birth, but anywhere between 5 pounds 11.5 ounces and 8 pounds 5.75 ounces / 2.5 and 3.8 kilograms is a healthy range for newborns.

Your amniotic fluid, once clear, is now pale and milky from your baby’s shedding vernix caseosa. The outer layers of skin are also sloughing off as new skin forms underneath.

In TV soaps, labour always begins with the waters breaking — in the middle of a crowded room, of course — just before contractions start. If you’ve been worrying that this scenario will happen to you, you can stop. Membranes rupture in less than 15 per cent of pregnancies and when it does happen, the baby’s head tends to act like a cork at the opening of the uterus. (If you lie down, however, you may notice fluid leaking.) You should stay calm — it may be hours before you feel your first contraction — and call your doctor or midwife right away. Your body will produce more amniotic fluid until the baby is born, so your carers may suggest you wait at home until contractions are under way or may suggest an induction.

And if the week passes and there’s still no baby? Don’t panic — only 5 per cent of babies are born on their scheduled due date. Most doctors wait another two weeks before considering a pregnancy overdue.

 

check back often for our next post. Fingers crossed its an announcement!

Baby Number 2 / Maternal PKU journey 2

38 weeks

38 weeks today. What a week it has been. Last Sunday my best friend Chantal through me the loveliest little Winnie the pooh themed baby shower. It was fun to celebrate with a few close friends, Coles granny and my mother in law. Chantal did such an amazing job.  She even had as sign on the door when I walked over that said ” 100 acre wood” she made place cards,  punch labels, wine labels,  and little cards for all the food. She made “piglet punch” and these adorable little peanut butter sandwiches shaped as teddy bears. She had honey gramham cracker teddy bears , veggie platters, cheese platters, bread bowls, so much food! she made a banner and hung balloons. She even made little honey pots for all the guest to take home with honey in them! She painted sunflower pots as honey pots for pens and cards for the games, and a note for baby!

I was so touched. I never got a baby shower with madelyn and it really hurt my feelings. I never thought id have the experiance again. I am so grateful and appreciative.  I am still waiting on the photos from her camera but here are a quick few I snapped on my phone.

I am so blessed to have such an amazing friend as her. I am aunty to both her girls and she is to mine. I did daycare for both her girls for 2 years and she lives across the street. She means the world to me!

 

Oh and cant forget my beautiful cake!

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Other than that the week flew by and here we are into August already!

I have been very sick with a chest infection. I am on a inhaler and feel like my lungs are full of fluid. I have been having terrible coughing fits and tore all the muscles in my belly so it really hurts to breathe or cough and I have to splint my tummy when I cough.  Its been about 2 weeks with that now. Madelyn has it to an it has of course induced her asthma. On top of it i have been having cramps all week. I am not to sure if they are braxton hicks cause I never experienced those with Madelyn. Everything with her just sort of happen at once.

We had a really rough week with very little sleep due to the coughing fits. The would wake her up all hours of the night and then id have to lie on the floor beside her bed and help her resettle. some nights i was in there for hours. Getting up and down off the floor to try to go back to my room to sleep before she woke up again. We ended up canceling a few of my appointments this week due to lack of sleep and pain and coughing so i missed my chrio appt.  I didn’t even have the energy to drive my blood dot to the lab on Thursday.  I did end up going out Friday to get a few things done before baby comes.

I had a few last minute purchases to make, took madelyn for a hair cut, took my suv in to be serviced.  We have been making great progress trying to get as much done as we can before baby. I have had a list of repairs and house hold stuff for cole to work on for weeks now and its winding down.  Today he finally washed all the outside windows as they where driving me nuts.  We still need to wash the carpers and furniture, fix the baby gate at the top of the stairs, take copper to the vet for his vaccines, install door stops behind the bedroom doors so they dont keep bashing the walls and a few other things. But we have checked off all the major stuff.  The nursery is done, we have everything we need. The car seats are installed, we had to change madelyn to forward facing now to fit in the infant seat. She has been rear facing because she was still within the requirements.  All the clothes have been sorted and put away. My just in case hospital bag is packed. My home birth kit is complete. We even have the pool now. I have made “padsicles” Prepped my post partum care supplies , and stocked up on my essential oils.

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We got the fish tanks cleaned. The yard work is done.  The house is repainted all the holes have been patched and cole has done many repairs around the house. I need to remember to wash all our bedding this weekend.

My levels are stable. My latest was 2.5 mg /dl after being increased to 2150 mg phe /43 grams protein. I have tried some new foods this week and have a couple more on my list to try before baby.  Yesterday I made my first ever nachos! I used the cambrooke burger mix, onions, garlic, dayia cheese both mozzarella and cheddar. Topped with tomatoes, avocado and sour cream. I used tostitos restaurant style chips and omg was it ever amazing!

Here is a pic :

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Today I had a butter croissant and some mini donuts as well as some caramel pop corn. I filled the croissant with sauteed apples in honey, cinnamon and sugar.

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Left on my list is a bagel with cream cheese . a wrap of some sort, maybe a donut from Tim Hortons and a creamsical ice cream cone at DQ

Oh i almost forgot! Since I was so late posting my 37 week update and only got around to publishing it last night I havent updated on our anniversary celebrations!

Cole and I celebrated 14 years together on July 24th. We had a date night and his cousin baby sat madelyn. It was our first date night in a year. We went to this place called ” Bliss float center” where you float! In water! In these cabins. I was so nervous because I am claustrophobic, you do it alone and completely naked!  You float in 10 inches of water that has over 1000 lbs of Epson Salts and its room temperature water. It is essentially a tank.  Much like sensory deprivation. There is no sounds and they turn out all the lights and you just float.  It is suppose to be really good for weightlessness, healing, pain, pregnancy , discomfort and relaxation.  The sessions are 90 mins long. I did find I got to warm near the end and I choose to keep a soft dim green light on as the darkness got to my anxiety. But you know what? I did relax and it was great on my hips and back. I switched between floating on my back to floating on my belly . Cole loved it and plans to go back again. To learn more about ” floating ” follow this link :

http://www.blissfloatcentre.ca/about_float_therapy/

 

After that we went to dinner together at Original Joes. I cannot remember the name of the meal I choose but WOW! it was so good. It was a summer rice bowl with kale/cabbage salad, asparagus, cauliflower, a root vegetable, avocado and rice. It was all tied together wonderfully with this surprisingly good orange ginger sauce.  It was for sure something I could never eat with my regular PKU diet so i am glad I got to enjoy it.  Here is a pic, is int it beautiful?

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After dinner cole took me to get my very first DQ blizzard! I got an oreo blizzard and it was mouth watering!

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I havent done any yoga, walking or swimming since June. I keep saying I will but then I dont because i’m either to exhausted or to swollen or just to damn uncomfortable. really  hoping that not keeping up with physical activity wont bite me in the ass come labour time.

Luckily I have only gained 14 lbs this pregnancy even though I feel massive.

I got a little gift made for madelyn from her baby sister when she arrives.  I ordered them custom t-shirts and some special dolls from my favorite online baby store ” Threading the love ” Based in my home town of Vancouver island.

The dolls will have the girls names on them and here are the proofs for the shirts.

 

We still dont have a name picked out for baby. Waiting untill we meet her. But I wanted to do something special to include madelyn .

 

Yesterday my midwife came to my house for my home visit and delivered the home birthing pool with liner.  She showed me how to set it up and we went over where to set it up and where she would need space for supplies and such. She checked my blood pressure, re did the GB test, listen to baby and checked her position. Everything went well.  I see her again on Wednesday. We may decide to do a stretch and sweep then as she is actually going out of province the whole week of my due date and that just set my anxiety through the roof. I cannot imagine doing this with out her. She is amazing we have a great bond and established trust. she also delivered madelyn. I dont want anyone else.  She will be gone Aug 11-19th and my due date is the 17th. So i am really hoping this baby girl decides to come this coming week  – not this weekend as its BC day long weekend. Before my midwife leaves otherwise she better stay put an go a couple days over due. However I cannot imagine going over due or another 2 weeks like this. Specially with the cramps i have been experiencing.  I am so done. I am so ready. I just want to get birth over with , meet this baby and begin our new lives as a family of 4. Even though I am still having terrible anxiety about the pain of labour and birth. As well as healing and post partum and juggling 2 kids. But im done. My body is done. My feet and legs are so puffy cole has had to put my compression stockings on for me many times this week

Im ready. so lets do this!

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Anyone want to guess a birth date and weight? Im hoping between Aug 6th and 10th and maybe 7 lbs? Comment on my fb page or below to leave your guess!

 

 

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Baby Number 2 / Maternal PKU journey 2

37 weeks 6 days pregnant

It has been such a busy week that I forgot to post on Saturday. Since im actually 38 weeks tomorrow i thought  i better make a quick post about last week before i uploaded tomorrows.

Latest phe level 2.5  Current phe tolerance 2150 mg . Officialy more then i ever had with Madelyn. I topped out at 2000 mg with her.  67525922_2395765590665850_2391591142220103680_n

 

37 weeks. Full term. Baby should arrive anytime in the next 3 weeks give or take. Won’t be much longer now till we meet our newest addition and complete our little family. I almost don’t like writing these posts anymore because I just sound like Complaining now. I’m swollen. I’m puffy
I’m exhausted. I’m not sleeping. I’m uncomfortable. My feet and ankles are puffy. My knees feel like there is fluid on them. My hands and wrists are puffy. My hands hurt and are tingly. My blood pressure and all tests are great. Wearing compression stockings. I’m using essential oils ( safely and under advisement ) taking baths and foot baths. My latear PHE level was 2.5 after being increased last week to 2000 mg phe / 40 grams protein. My weight is steady. It’s hard to breathe still baby is very high and very active. I have a terrible wet cough when I lie down it feels like fluid building up so I sleep kinda sitting up with lots of pillows under my head ,shoulders, knees and feet. I still go to chriopractor two times a week and massage weekly. We celebrated our 14 year anniversary this week and went for a float at bliss float center and it really felt good on my hips and back. I even got to check off my list item of my first ever Oreo Blizzard from dairy Queen. This week my midwife appt is a home visit and my weekly massage and chiro. Trying to fit some fun and relaxation in as well. Maybe a swim or some yoga if I can get past the discomfort from the swelling. We got our carseats installed this week to so much much left to do on our list of things before baby comes. Almost ready ! I ordered matching shirts for the girls that say big sister little sister and a doll for Madelyn as a gift from her sister. Almost have everything we need other than a few small things . Mostly wants not needs.
Hoping to make it to the first week of August at the very least.
#maternalpku #mpku
#pkuawareness #phenylketonuria
#pkulife #pkuadult #canpku #pkustrong #almosthere #fullterm#37weekspregnant #babynumber2 #babysister

 

Here is what baby center.ca  has to say about week 37

#37weekspregnant
#fullterm #anytimenow #butnottosoon
Your baby weighs close to 6.5 pounds / 2.8 kilograms and may be about 20 inches / 50 centimetres long from head to toe. Your baby’s head is now cradled in your pelvic cavity — surrounded and protected by your pelvic bones. This position clears some much-needed space for her growing legs and buttocks.

Many babies now have a full head of hair, with locks maybe around one inch / 2.5 centimetres long. But don’t be surprised if her hair isn’t the same colour as yours. Dark-haired couples are sometimes taken aback when their children are born with bright red or blond hair, and fair-haired couples likewise can produce babies with dark hair. And then, of course, some babies don’t have any hair at all.

Speaking of hair, most of the downy coat of lanugo that covered your baby from 26 weeks has disappeared, and so has most of the vernix caseosa, the whitish substance that also covers her. Your baby will swallow her lanugo and exterior coating, along with other secretions, and store them in her bowels. These will become your infant’s first bowel movement, a blackish waste called meconium.

Around now many women start worrying about whether they will know if they are in labour

 

check back tomorrow for week 38 tomorrow!

Baby Number 2 / Maternal PKU journey 2

36 weeks pregnant

Welcome to day 1 week 1 of month 9! We could have a baby anytime in the next 4 short weeks!! Blows my mind! We have come so far! Its so crazy to think about.

Mamas who are due around me are starting to have their babies. Hard to believe that it could soon be our turn. We could have a new baby anytime in the next few weeks. I don’t know if I’m more terrified or excited. Have some serious anxiety though. Trying to slow down and relax and enjoy these last few weeks with my big girl before she becomes a big sister. Still going to chiropractic and massage to help my body and work on my hips and back.
My phe levels are still stable at 2.5 mg/DL so i haven’t had any increases in my tolerance . I’ve been tested for B12 deficiency but the results came back normal. Apparently on the report the Anesthesiologist sent to my midwife said that I had a b12 deficiency but that was the first anyone on my team had heard about it so not really sure where he got that information. For some reason the same report also said that I cant have the ” gas” while in labour if I need pain management.  Not that I was planning to. I tried it once with Madelyn and didn’t do anything for me but give me a bit of a headache so wasn’t planning on using it again anyways but just thought that was weird.

Other then that things have been going well. My health is pretty good and pretty stable.

There is not really much to say this week. Everything is just stable and now its just a waiting game.  i’m starting to feel more pressure so baby is moving . She will push her legs and feet into my organs and arch her back so my belly pushes out and stretches to one side. She is so strong and active. I can be doing something and she will start moving and stretching out so much that it stretches and moves my whole belly. It looks like shes trying to break out and rather alien. Other people can see it to and I get comments on it. Its getting to the point where its uncomfortable .  she is way more active and stronger then i remember Madelyn being.  I actually asked my midwife if she should be slowing down soon but i guess she could continue to be this active the hole time.  Makes me wonder what she will be like when she gets here. I try to keep track of movements and patters because they say when she is most active now is when she will mostly likely be awake after but their is really no pattern. she is very active! specially after dinner in the evenings, when i have a bath and sometimes after breakfast. So really i have no idea what her sleeping habits will be like other then the crazy normal newborns.  I am scared of labour and the pain and giving birth but im even more scared of being so exhausted and having an newborn and a toddler and still making sure my toddlers needs are met, that i dont loose my patience with her and give her what she needs to be happy and adjust.

Here is what babycenter.ca has to say about week 36

Your baby is still gaining weight — about an ounce/ 28 grams a day. She weighs nearly 6 pounds/ 2.7 kilograms and is 19 inches/ 45 centimetres long from head to toe.

You may begin to feel an increased pressure in your lower abdomen and notice that your baby is gradually dropping. This is called lightening or engagement, and your lungs and stomach will finally get a chance to stretch out a little — breathing and eating should become easier. However, walking may become increasingly uncomfortable — some women say it feels as if the baby is going to fall out. Also, you may still feel as if you need to go to the loo all the time. Stock up on those last minute nutrients with oureating well guide.

The good news is that by the end of this week, your pregnancy will be full-term and you could give birth any day now. (Babies between 37 and 42 weeks are considered full-term — a baby born before 37 weeks is premature and after 42 is post-term.) At your weekly visit, your doctor or midwife may check to see if you’ve started dilating (when the cervix opens) and effacing (when the cervix thins). The doctor or midwife will also check what position the baby is in, in order to estimate how far the baby has dropped into the pelvis. This information will be entered into your maternity notes so that your midwife in hospital will know the position of the baby when you go into labour.

#36weekspregnant #babynumber2 #sisters #trimester3 #mpku #pku#lastmonth #4weeksleft #9monthspregnant

 

 

thats all for this week!

Baby Number 2 / Maternal PKU journey 2

Family photos 2019

This July we have so much to celebrate. Our growing family, my pregnancy, our babies, our family and Cole and I are celebrating 14 years together next week. So to honor this special time in our life we had some family / anniversary/ maternity photos taken with our friend Jo of captured by Jo photography.

I had planned to spoil myself with a trip to the salon before the photos to have my hair professionally styled for the photos. However the experiance at the salon was terrible. The stylist ruined my hair. I was so upset. I rushed home to attempt to fix my hair myself and was nearly late for the photos.  I had to shower and re do my hair and ended up going with my own natural curls which I have a love hate relationship with. I felt unpretty bloated and puffy. and huge!  Our friend Jo did a great job though and there are so many photos  I am very happy with. Its hard not to be my own worst critic and its hard for me to see past the puffiness and the roundness in my face and smile.  But I am so glad to have these memories to look back on and they are some of my most favorite photos ever.  I cant wait to look back on them in the years to come with both of our daughters.

Here are a few of my favorites.

I hope you enjoy them as much as we do. I love my family so much. They fill my soul and my heart so entirely. I count my blessings and thank god every day.

Baby Number 2 / Maternal PKU journey 2

Third trimester blood profile results

I had my last blood profile panel taken on June 24th at 32 weeks. I have never  had so many results come back flagged out of range. However my team assures me that there is no reason to worry as they are just very slightly out of range and could just be because of dilution .

My white blood cells where slightly high. Range is 10 and it was 10.1

My ferritin was extremely low at 10 .  I had been forgetting to take my iron supplements so i’m working hard to get those back up.

My Albumin was 2 points low.

My cholesterol was elevated but that’s fairly normal. range is 2.0 to 5.19 and mine was 5.38

My Triglycerides was slightly elevated at 2.78 range is under 2.19

My Selenium was taken in the wrong vial so was recalled to be re tested. This is something new my clinic is testing. It was not something they tested with Madelyn. It has been tested 3 times this pregnancy and twice it has been recalled. My doctor told me not to worry about re testing it but the lab caught me one day while I was dropping off a blood dot so we just did it anyways.  Range for Selenium is 1.20-2.09 and mine came back at 1.12 so a bit low. I dont really understand the purpose of selenium and what its job is in the body so im not sure if i need to be concerned but my team does not seem to be.

Other than that all my results where in range.

Hematology

WBC
A
10.1
4.0-10.0
10*9/L
RBC
3.83
3.50-5.00
10*12/L
Hemoglobin
121
115-155
g/L
Hematocrit
0.35
0.35-0.45
L/L
MCV
92
82-98
fl
MCH
31.6
27.5-33.5
pg
MCHC
345
300-370
g/L
RDW
12.0
11.5-14.5
%
Platelet Count
248
150-400
10*9/L

Differential

Neutrophils
7.4
2.0-7.5
10*9/L
Lymphocytes
2.0
1.0-4.0
10*9/L
Monocytes
0.5
0.1-0.8
10*9/L
Eosinophils
0.1
0.0-0.7
10*9/L
Basophils
0.0
0.0-0.2
10*9/L
Granulocytes Immature
0.1
0.0-0.1
10*9/L

Biochemical Investigation of Anemias and Iron Overload

Ferritin
A
10
15-247
ug/L

Adults: <15: diagnostic of Iron Deficiency
15-50: Probable Iron Deficiency
51-100: Possible Iron Deficiency
>100: Iron Deficiency unlikely
persistently >600: Test for Iron overload

Children: <12: diagnosis of Iron Deficiency
http://www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/health/
practitioner-professional-resources/bc-
guidelines/iron-overload
General Chemistry

Albumin
A
33
35-50
g/L

Lipids

Cholesterol
A
5.38
2.00-5.19
mmol/L
LDL Cholesterol
1.94
1.50-3.40
mmol/L

The optimal LDL cholesterol level for
intermediate and high risk individuals
is <= 2.00 mmol/L. If triglycerides are
=> 1.50 mmol/L, consider monitoring of
alternate lipid targets non HDL-cholest-
erol or apoB. For low risk individuals
with LDL cholesterol => 5.00 mmol/L,
target reduction of LDL cholesterol
=> 50 percent. See Can J Cardiol 2013
vol 29 pgs 151 to 167.

HDL Cholesterol
2.18
>1.19
mmol/L
Chol/HDL (Risk Ratio)
2.47
<4.4
Non HDL Cholesterol
3.20
mmol/L

Non HDL-cholesterol is calculated from
total cholesterol and HDL-C and is not
affected by the fasting status of the
patient. The optimal non HDL-cholesterol
level for intermediate and high risk
individuals is <= 2.60 mmol/L. See Can J
Cardiol 2013 vol 29 pgs 151 to 167.

Triglycerides
A
2.78
<2.21
mmol/L
Homocysteine
3
<15
umol/L

Effective May 27, 2019 this test is performed
on a new analyzer. Results are equivalent
and reference ranges are unchanged.
MetalsSelenium

Selenium
Specimen received in K2 EDTA blue top
container. Require preservative-free
serum trace element blue top container.
Patient will be contacted for recall.
umol/L

Referred TestsAmino Acids Plasma PLASMA AMINO ACIDS
Sent to BC Children’s Hospital.
Physicians may call 1-877-747-2522 for results.

Phenylketonuria (PKU) PKU
Sent to BC Children’s Hospital.
Physicians may call 1-877-747-2522 for results.

 

 

At my midwife appt yesterday there was a note that said i might possibly have a b12 deficiency , this was news to both of us as I have no record or memory of ever actually been tested for it so i will be doing that this week when i drop off my next blood dot.  I am interested to see what the results will be for that . Maybe thats why i am so bloody tired!

Baby Number 2 / Maternal PKU journey 2

35 weeks 4 days pregnant

whoa! Where has the week gone. I forgot to post my weekly blog post on Saturday. I cant believe it is Wednesday already.

My phe levels have finally hit the target at 2.5 mg /dl while that’s great it also means no more phe tolerance increases unless they drop below 2 again. currently i am sitting at 1875mg phe which is roughly 37.5 grams of protein.  I have been having 3 packages of instant oatmeal for breakfast a day, chow mien or sandwiches for lunch and rice and veggies for dinner.  It is a lot of food though. Specially in summer.

On Friday we had our family/anniversary/maternity photos taken by our family friend Jo with captured by Jo photography. I love them and will be sharing a few of my favorites in a separate post later.

I was hoping to have gone to the island on the weekend to visit my family but i was having trouble with edema and swelling. My feet, hands, writs and legs all got really puffy. While my midwife assured me it was safe to travel and I trust her my doctor and my OB felt it was not a good decision. In the end i decided not to go as i was to uncomfortable.  Cole did however go to the cost on Monday for a few days. It is our first separation in over 7 years and i have been having a lot of anxiety. I will breathe better when he gets home later today.

we did take a nice little day trip to see coles parents last week in Clinton and stayed for dinner. I always find time at the ranch relaxing and rejuvenating.

I got my eyes tested last week to as I needed new glasses again.  Pregnancy always changes my prescription it seems. I had lazer eye surgery in 2012 and lived glasses free till madelyn, i needed up back in glasses when she was 8 months old.  I am back to wearing them full time. My lenses were so scratched though it was driving me batty. I was going to hold off to have them tested till after baby because sometimes when you finish nursing as your milk and hormones regulate your eye sight can change again. But that could be a year or more off for us so my optometrist told me to just get them checked now and then again in a year. I also got new frames.

I had enrolled madelyn in summer camp swim lessons mon/tues/wed for the next 2 weeks as a way to get us both in the water and was so excited to get back to the pool only to discover when i got there on Monday that i was not aloud to swim laps while she was in lessons anymore as they are short on life guards. I was so disappointing. Its torture to sit at the side of the pool while shes in the water.  The water feels so good specially when my feet are puffy and swollen as they have been.  My midwife says the swelling is probably from the altitude and pressure changes we have been having as we have had some crazy weather here this July.  I am grateful though as we havent had any terrible tragic forest fires or hazy smoky skies that we have seen the past 2 years. Its been damp and cool and lots of rain. With thunder and lightening storms here and there.  It has made it a bit hard to get out or be active though. Im feeling sluggish and tired so my motivation is low.

We had our 35 week midwife appt yesterday and went over a few things. Baby is doing well. Still very active. big strong movements that make my whole belly move. I am being tested for b12 deficiency and other then that things are moving along. Our next midwife appt will be a home visit since we are trying for a home birth.

I have been going to chiropractic 2 times a week and massage once a week to help manage the pain in my low back , hips and sacrum. It makes me anxious thinking about how sore i get and how much worse it will be during labour so trying to work on it now.

i picked up some raspberry tea leaf tea to start drinking in preparation for birth. I think it really helped my delivery and healing with Madelyn so i am hopeful it will again.

The nursery is nearly complete and the dresser should arrive today so im exited to put away her clothes and set up the finishing touches in the room.

hard to believe that baby could be here in the next few weeks. I am starting to daydream about what she will look like, what she will feel like and smell like. Newborns have such a scent around them , it helps mothers bond and hormones regulate and help to navigate breastfeeding.  I am looking forward to exploring her and learning her and touching her little feet and hands. Life is going to change so much. I am excited to see Madelyn finally meet her sister to. I am terrified and excited.  I still cant believe this is happening again. What a blessing it has been to experience this not once but twice.

Here is what babycenter,ca has to say about week 35

 

#35weekspregnant #babynumber2
#girlmama #5weeksleft #giveortake

Your baby now weighs about 5.25 pounds/ 2.4 kilograms and measures approximately 18 inches/ 45 centimetres from head to toe. Her elbow, foot or head may protrude from your stomach when he stretches and squirms about. Soon, as the wall of your uterus and your abdomen stretch thinner and let in more light, your baby will begin to develop daily activity cycles.

This week, your little one is now sporting fingernails and has a fully developed pair of kidneys. Her liver can also process some waste products.

There’s much less amniotic fluid and much more baby in your uterus, which has expanded to a thousand times its original size. You’ve probably put on between 25 and 30 pounds/ 11 and 13.6 kilograms and your weight gain has hit its peak. Even your belly button has got bigger and has popped outward. You may be feeling breathless now that the top of your uterus is up under your ribs. Try getting down on all fours to take deeper breaths. Although the pressure on your bladder will make the bathroom your second home, don’t drink any less water — your baby needs the fluids. But you may like to cut down on diuretic drinks like tea and coffee, which will make you have to urinate even more often.

Still undecided about a name? Try our baby namer for new ideas.

Your doctor or midwife will probably want to start seeing you every week until you give birth.

 

we are off to swim lessons so check back later for our family photos :)